kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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