Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
