I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
