i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
