I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
