i permit you to call me
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
