I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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