sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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