Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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