That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
