the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
