I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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