Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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