k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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