Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
