no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
