i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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