Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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