oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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