I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
