Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
