no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize