But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That accounts for only three of the penises
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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