she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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