I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
