What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
