so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
