So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
