so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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