I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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