It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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