It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
