Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
