sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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