the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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