but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
