you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
