I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
