Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
