Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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