Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
