....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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