I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
