two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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