yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
