porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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