I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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