For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
