I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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