i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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