Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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