this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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