So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
